Friday, June 16, 2017

I Wish I Could Just Let Things Go

Last night at practice, I had a parent stop to talk to me. He was talking about his daughter and the upcoming State Games. He asked if I was going. He laughed. He asked me if I even competed. He laughed again. He laughed at me.

I suppressed my natural tendencies for the sake of young teammates around and he moved on.

The grandfather of the fencer  mentioned above used to make fun of my age and fencing for months and months. Every time I took a break, he commented on it. It was always some kind of reference to my age and being out there fencing. After six or seven months of that crap, I finally confronted him and told him I did not see the humor in his remarks. It stopped. ( Note: Grandfather is not the sharpest knife in the drawer and I knew he thought he was being funny. This is why I let it go on for so long.)

Okay. If you are my age, you are going to get some remarks about your age. Mostly it is good natured. And I am sure there are other less kind remarks made about your age, but by ones wise enough not to say it to your face. It is the way things are.

I also note that many fencers are short on social skills.  Myself included sometimes. ( Note: Fortunately my friend and training partner more than makes up for my poor social skills. We are the Yin and the Yang.) It seems only natural that there are parents of fencers with poor social skills.

The father really got under my skin. I cannot seem to let it go. I always had trouble with letting things go. If it happens again, I am going off on him to what ever degree is needed. I will not be able to stop it. So...Is the problem the father or is it me. I wish I was the kind of person that could just shrug things off. Sadly, I have never been and I think it is bit late for any major personality changes.


cobalt said...

Club's a safe zone as far as I'm concerned. Someone's bugging you like that, feel free to fire away.

Anytime anyone makes any statement regarding my fencing retirement:

Wesley said...

I disagree with Cobalt about clubs being a "safe zone". I don't think anyplace, beyond a therapist's office is a safe zone anymore. I understand his thought, but clearly it doesn't match the reality of the situation.

You should most assuredly put this parent in his/her place. There's just not enough of that going on. There are so many rude folks around because people are too polite to them...they never get put in their place, and they never learn to shut their mouths.

It sucks to have to do it, but you have to stand up for yourself. No one else will do it for you.

cobalt said...

I think you misunderstand what I mean by a "safe zone". If someone's being a jackass, they're not the ones that are safe.

artrix said...

You and I are a lot alike. Coach Miller has stood up, when it was warranted and scared the bejeepers out of me, as I watched, so, he can be ferocious. However he is able to brush off A-Holes's 'small stuff', as he calls it, because "they are stupid humans". I am polite to them to a point, but A-H's are gonna be A-H's so I let it rip when enough is enough. So far, thank goodness there have been two situations in the fencing realm. I did not stand up to the first person, a coach, really being verbally abusive to a teen. It was my first National event, and I allowed myself to think it was not my place. I will have regret forever on that one. The other happened last year, and was totally coming although again I stalled, because it was not about a kid, but about a person with a bad temper. My point is, if we don't stand up, jerks continue to treat us badly and others too. No zone should be safe for bad behavior.