Friday, June 16, 2017

I Wish I Could Just Let Things Go

Last night at practice, I had a parent stop to talk to me. He was talking about his daughter and the upcoming State Games. He asked if I was going. He laughed. He asked me if I even competed. He laughed again. He laughed at me.

I suppressed my natural tendencies for the sake of young teammates around and he moved on.

The grandfather of the fencer  mentioned above used to make fun of my age and fencing for months and months. Every time I took a break, he commented on it. It was always some kind of reference to my age and being out there fencing. After six or seven months of that crap, I finally confronted him and told him I did not see the humor in his remarks. It stopped. ( Note: Grandfather is not the sharpest knife in the drawer and I knew he thought he was being funny. This is why I let it go on for so long.)

Okay. If you are my age, you are going to get some remarks about your age. Mostly it is good natured. And I am sure there are other less kind remarks made about your age, but by ones wise enough not to say it to your face. It is the way things are.

I also note that many fencers are short on social skills.  Myself included sometimes. ( Note: Fortunately my friend and training partner more than makes up for my poor social skills. We are the Yin and the Yang.) It seems only natural that there are parents of fencers with poor social skills.

The father really got under my skin. I cannot seem to let it go. I always had trouble with letting things go. If it happens again, I am going off on him to what ever degree is needed. I will not be able to stop it. So...Is the problem the father or is it me. I wish I was the kind of person that could just shrug things off. Sadly, I have never been and I think it is bit late for any major personality changes.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Embarrassing Progress

I came to my journal today to use one of the links posted there. I ended up reading  some really stupid stuff I had posted years back. Goofy stuff. Things I thought, but they were wrong. Pretty embarrassing really. It makes me want to cringe, or delete a bunch of stuff. Maybe the whole thing.

On the other hand, the whole darn thing was meant to record my fencing journey, so I would remember it. Now that I am further up the path, my opinions have changed. I can see how wrong I was concerning some things . I can see the thoughts I know to be true.

Maybe that is why I started this journal in the first place. To keep track of progress.