Thursday, March 17, 2016
Thinking Out Loud
Trying to figure out some things here.
Fenced in an tournament last weekend. I knew I was going to be cannon fodder going in,but I did not think it would be as bad as it was. The young guns were to fast and to skilled for me and my training partner. Not a big deal. There is a reason you don't see 64 year old men fencing in the Olympics. When you start fencing at 51, you mostly fence kids decades younger or people your age with decades more experience. As I have said before, it is a rough row to hoe.
But the event, begs a question. Where am I going in fencing?
I suspect my aging body and mind will not allow me to make much in the way of gains in my game. Not whining,just fact. If this is the case, why am I taking lessons? Perhaps to just slow the decay of ability? I am not sure.
I have always thought of myself as a "serious" fencer. From the dead fencing zone I live in, I spend 7+ hours a week in a car traveling to places I can train. That is about as much time as I spend training a week. No way can I train more than twice a week, as it would just add to travel time. So within the limitations of where I live, I think I have been doing the best I can. Like I said, I think of myself as a "serious" fencer. But maybe, I should no longer be a "serious" fencer. Maybe I should just dabble in it. Or maybe I should start down the path to dabbling in it. There comes a point in many fencers lives, where you need to start thinking about an exit strategy. I could take some time off (periodically) and work on other things that interest me.
I plan on fencing in the April NAC, ( Not sure why.) but after that I don't see much on the horizon were I want to compete. If you don't compete or involve yourself in fencing in some other way ( Coaching; reffing; etc.) why are you doing it? Would I just be trying to hang on to see what I can do in 5 years in Vet 70? (This is assuming my body does not betray me in some major manner during those 5 years.)
I don't want to give up fencing. Not yet. If for no other reason, I have some friends (some very close ones) that I would no longer see. It is also part of my identity, which is so strangely important to me.
What do you do?
I think, after writing this down, I am just going to try and adjust the way I think about fencing. Not sure that I can, but that is the plan.