Thursday, February 5, 2009

Things That I Have Learned Lately in Fencing

1. That the worn out Velcro on my oldest knickers is no match for my big 'ole vet tummy.

2. That it is hard to fence your best when a ref keeps pointing to part of your knickers popping out from under your jacket. This kind of blows the whole "focus" thing.

3. That I am smart enough to have duct tape in my kit, but not clever enough to remember that it is there for a couple of bouts.

4 That five minutes after duct taping your knickers together, you will need to go to the bathroom.

5. That a lot of kids are lucky to have such good fencing parents.

6. That even in my advanced years, I would have given anything to have had my Mom and Dad see me fence......just one time. They would have loved it!

7. That some batches of Leon Paul epee tips must be cursed to never pass a shim test...or they will pass the first one.....but after that they are DONE!

8. That very often these days when I see a maladjusted teenager, I hear a girlish Southern voice in my head saying," Excuse me.....but have you ever considered taking up the sport of fencing? Your total lack of social skills would make you an automatic fit." It always makes me smile.

9. The only joints that will never give you trouble or pain are the useless joints on your off weapon arm.

10. That as soon as you send in the money for a North American Cup entry fee, your knee will go out.

11. That I evidently do not want any self esteem at all. I can think of no other reason I would spend a lot of money and six hours.....just to get the tar beat out of me. Heck...I can drive an hour and half in several directions and get that done for $20.00

1 comment:

Cobalt said...

You can still get a refund on most of your fees if you want to.

Yeah, I had that same fight, then I dropped 20 lbs. Thank God for elliptical machines.

Wait til you coach left handed. Have to keep that joint damage even!! :P