Thursday, February 15, 2007

One

I fenced last night. It was a little "in club" Valentine's Day tournament with seven people doing epee. It was fun. We had strawberries and chocolate. It was a good time.

I did not do so well in pools, but did much better in DEs, as seems to be my usual way of doing things for some reason. I came in second after a good DE with Tommy. I was up 7-3 at one point and then it was give and take for a while. I began to tire and as he rallied to make it 11-11.  I was just spent. We did not have a stop watch to take a one minute break.

That bout was not important. What was important was that I am becoming able to fence. Henri tells me I am suffering from situational depression. Loosing your job of 27 years with few prospects (the jobs are in Asia now) and a crippled wife....kid or two in college...I think it is understandable that you could be a mental mess for a while if you had no way to take care of them. This has always been my biggest fear. That I could not take care of them.  Last week I could barely function with an epee in my hand...or much any other way. Last night I could focus.


This makes me feel better. I look for small victories and it helps me get through. This is one.

1 comment:

fencerkath said...

You wouldn't be human if you weren't worried and upset.  Your reaction is normal - humans are supposed to be concerned, especially when events may impact on the lives of those they love.  Little victories are very important - a way of getting through but also a reminder of your own ability and worth.  Well done!