Sunday, January 28, 2007

Sun Tzu ...Who?

I am tired. I just got back from the tournament in Charlotte. I was awful. I did so bad.

I can think of several mental reasons why I did not fence my best. I will not go into them. It sounds like "sour grapes." The result is the same.

Sense September I have been pleased (to some degree) with most of the tournaments I have fenced in. There was the NAC in Richmond and an open tournament a while back. I was awful at the NAC and my performance at the November Raleigh tournament was not awful, just not very good. Then there was today. Geeze! The rest I was okay with.

I know everyone has a bad day...sometimes ...a string of them but I have some concerns. I am doing everything I can do (that is realistic) to get better.

There comes a time when have to take a look at your self from a realistic point of view. I am not crying or whining, this is just a clinical type of assessment. I am not going to do it tonight. I will give it a couple of days and think about it.

Sun Tzu said (words to this effect) that an army that wins a war has to have two things. They have to have the resources and they have to have the will. I have both these things.

I am hoping that what is missing is what all epee fencers have. Patience. Maybe I need to wait and see if all the things I am working on will at some point gel and I will become decent. Decent is my goal. Maybe I just need to wait on it. It is either that, or just do not have the talent or ability.

This is sort of a rambling entry in my journal. Like I said...I am tired.



1 comment:

fencerkath said...

It sounds like you're having a busy and stressful time away from fencing.  It's hard to fence your best in such circumstances, but I think you can learn from the experience and it will all kick in later.  

Now just imagine what it would be like if you were a perfect technical fencer and all your hits landed and you always won.  Boring, isn't it?  It's the uncertainty that makes it so exciting - the knowledge that sometimes we'll do better than we expect and sometimes worse.  The times that don't work out make the successes worthwhile - at least, that's how it is with me.  But my successes are much smaller scale - managing a hit or a parry I hadn't managed before, fencing faster, watching my opponent move up a gear, losing less badly.  I just go on in hope that one day, in just one bout, I'll fence surprisingly well and win (but I know my age is against me).