Six months ago, it was a long term goal/dream to go to Coaches College and become certified as a coach. Maybe I would start a little club in High Point NC, where I live. I was seeing this as something six to eight years in the future….theoretically …..When I knew a hell of lot more than I know now Our little club had a need and the time line changed. It was a ready or not sort of thing.
So the question I ask myself is “Am I a coach?” It is not a question that is easy to answer. I have a piece of paper that says I am certified as one. On the other hand, there are many coaches in our Division that know more than I will ever live long enough to learn.
I have this big feeling of…” I am not worthy.” I know that I could teach a beginner course and do better than most high school gym teachers. I have to think on my place in the scheme of things.
When I was in martial arts for all those years, my green belt test was less than any other belt than I ever was tested for. I had fought in a tournament the weekend before and done fairly well. Monday, when I went to class, my sifu walked by and tossed me a shiny new green belt. He said, “Jim…You are a green belt……….now…………earn it!” I did earn it and beyond. That is what I need to do with this little piece of paper.
So am I coach. I do not see myselfin that role…..not yet. I am more of an assistant coach or coach’s helper. That kind of title is fine with me, as I am still working on becoming what I see as a fencer. My vision of what a fencer is… always changing. The ability to do fairly well in a tournament…or to at least give as good an account of yourself as your limitations will permit. To know something about being an armourer…..to be a fairly good ref….and now I have to add coach to the list. It is no wonder that overall, fencers are a strange lot. These are frickin’ hard goals. You have to be a different breed.
Ya know what I really want to do? I really just want to fence some epee. That is so weird, because after last week….I am just fenced OUT!
Also...I think that Maestro Begunet is one of the coolest people on the planet!