Saturday, June 24, 2006

Jim is a Big Baby!

Epee, for some reason, was disappointing. I have a problem with my forward check. Cam showed me and I got it right in the end, though this morning I know I cannot do it. I have forgotten. I will try to get Woody to show me again on Monday. I was embarrassed to have to be shown this in front of the class. This is something I should have mastered in the second month of fencing. I do not ever use it, hence I have forgotten it. I use a reverse check once in a while. There was something wrong with my lunge, I did our jump rope drill like a spas. ( I was corrected on that by a person who has not been fencing a year.) I was corrected for grunting (making a loud noise) before a touch. I was at the same class with Maestro Beguinet and what I heard was different. Screaming as a distraction is not legal. making my "Rambo Grunt" is not a violation...I think. I need to review the rules. Woody talked to me about my hand movement and jerky footwork when I am about to attack. I was unaware of it.

I was in a pool of six and I won every bout, even though I know I did not fence well.

There is a problem with me....I think. I rarely take criticism well. I know this and I know that I am stupid for this fault. The fact remains that it is true. my epee class....was this coaching I got...or criticism? Was I being coached or picked on? Is coaching not in essence a critique? Why is it that sometimes I am grateful for it and other times I want to "bow up?"

I need to think on this a bit and try and put my mind in the place it should be. This post is a sad commentary on me.

I need to get to foil early Monday, and see if I repaired my weapons correctly. I doubt it.



1 comment:

shazna02 said...

I relate to your whole post (well, except the bit about the "rambo grunt").  I am not a big fan of criticism, or rather, once I have one piece of criticism I wish to go off and perfect that and come back.  Unfortunately, it seems that once I have noticed something I am doing wrong, and plan to work on it, EVERYONE also notices it and point it out to me.  

Also, how I feel about what someone says, even coaches, changes from day to day.  When a coach says, "A trained athlete would be able to do this" one day, I get fuming because I feel that he is demeaning my effort, another day I laugh and say, "then we should try and find one."

A woman I respect named Eve, once explained to a group of writers, why she wrote: "Because I'm self-centred, so shut up and look at me all of you!" - Maybe self motivated epeeists are a high wire act between trying to be perfect and hating not being perfect.  

"I won every bout, even though I know I did not fence well" - Cheer up! Soon you'll be trying to correct something or doing something new and losing!  Hang in there.